Not our day... again!

We thought that we had our fill of family issues, injuries, car problems and things in the house breaking.... Boy were we wrong. I am feeling almost feverish at this point because of how many different things are not going right in my life and my families life. Sometimes I almost feel like I am being strangled... but I am still trying to breath. This past week has been very hard on me. Things are not right at all with me and my sister and Mom. We cannot seem to get it right no matter what we do... everytime I try to explain my feelings on things, I wind up making someone mad or hurt, so my only other option is to retreat. I am feeling very alone because of it and was so stressed last night that I had two broken blood vessels in my eyes and a headache that has continued since Monday. Preston and I sat outside for a bit and talked to our neighbors last night for a good hour, it was relaxing and very nice to talk about random stuff that did not effect me much. We came inside... Cass was already in bed since she was asleep at 7 and we were getting ready to put Kaiya to bed when Preston all of a sudden tripped and compound fractured his baby toe. It was at a 90 degree angle. We knew it was broken for sure and since it was 9pm, we knew urgent care would not be open, so he had to go the ER. They got the toy back in place and fixed him last night, but now all of his paperwork is missing, he lost it somewhere between being discharged and coming home. He lost his discharge work, his xrays and his presciption... so now he has nothing and has to go our family doctor today because of all of it. We were able to get his xrays at least from the hospital. Then this morning after Columbus Gas came to check our hot water heater... we found out it likey has to be replaced, $650 at least. Not to mention a new hospital bill coming our way... we still are paying on two others with a WAY to go, *sigh*. From last July to now we have lost two pregnancies, broken 3 bones, had 4 ER visits, one hospital stay and countless testing... so countless bills, not to mention probably 15 visits to the pediatrician. One the consumer side: we have had to fix both cars, Preston's transmission went and both cars had to have batteries replaced and my car had the step board on the drivers side completely fell off. We had a toilet break up stairs flooding our entire living room and ruining the ceiling perminently as well as out fire and carbon detectors and carpet upstairs, we have had our dishwasher break, our sink disposal and our fridge died completely and had to be replaced. We also had our garage door break 3 seperate times and just had to pay for most of it to be replaced.

It is hard to feel like I am not in a tailspin but that is what I feel like. Believe me, I know other people have it a lot worse... but our issues feel so constant and endless. The thing with my family is the hardest. I just feel lost and angry. When I talk to my Mom or sister, the stuff I say never comes out the way I intend and I feel worse everytime we talk. So I guess it is good that we are going away tomorrow for Williams birthday in Austintown. I think a change of scenery might be good.

I cant seem to grab the reins in life at this point... so I think I will just stand still.

Sorry for the downer, bitchfest... kist wanted to get this out. It explains a lot of my actions lately, but I am afriad of what is coming next.