Coming back... slowly but steady

Hello my amazing friends. First, may I just say, thank you so much for the amazing, non-judging, kind, consistant and loving support. Your thoughts, prayers, emails and messages over the past few days have really lit up my world and helped so much. I am gettin better slowly. I am praying a lot and trying to hard to get my priorities straight and correct. Life is never a sure thing, that is for sure, but I know that life is also what you make it, and I am the first person to say that the one thing in this life you can cnotrol is yourself. I am trying to get my outlook more positive. I also found out that I was fighting off some sort of flu bug, so not all of my phsyical symptoms where from the medicine change and stress, which was a big relief - so some of the pshyical stuff is getting better. Life is not perfect, I know that, but I have a lot of amazing blessings surrounding me.

On Wednesday - I took Kaiya and Cass with me to the doctor (to discuss my medicines)... Kaiya proceeded to have one of the worst temper tantrums I have ever seen in the waiting room in front of another family with two children. As embarrassed as I was as I desperately tried to calm her down, I worried too that I was adding to it and making her more upset by the stress the entire situation was creating.... after about 30 minutes, I started to sob.... I could not help it - the Grandmother that was there with hre daughter at the doctor's appointment came to me and put her arm around me (as only grandmothers can do) and said, sweetie, I have raised 3 boys and seen lots of tempers, that was a doozy, but sweetie, dont you ever feel embarrassed about your children or apologize for their behavior, you are their Mother and the reason you are so upset is because you care so deeply for them.

Her words in the waiting room meant more to me then anything at that moment. As I stood up to see the doctor, she gave me a big hug and told be that God gave me my girls because they were meant to be mine and to never question if I was a good Mother, because the tears rolling down my face were proof enough....

That turned a lot around for me. The kind words of a total stranger, combined with the loving and supportive words of my friends and family. My Mom and sister and been constantly at my side dealing with my very up and down personality and never getting upset with me or frusterated. Just being there. Em is invaluable to me. She just takes me anyway I am and that is it - she does not judge me, hurt me, provoke me or upset me, she is just there. Mom does the same.

Preston is great, he doesnt always know exactly what to do, but he always tries and that is what is important in my book.

Thank you all for listening. I will post some pics with my next post of my sweet girls. We are actually mkaing some headway with Kaiya's glasses... and I have the pics to prove it - she is darlin in them!!

I love you all and thanks for reading - God Bless and prayers being said for lots of you!